I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
