sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need help removing her.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
