we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i dont even know how to be here
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
