is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
