i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
