I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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