So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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