I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think my tv is drunk
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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