I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
