I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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