got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
