Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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