we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
