Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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