I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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