So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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