he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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