dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
handjob tips. give me some.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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