is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You took a bar mat shot.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize