i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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