Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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