period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
