I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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