He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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