i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My dad is sitting where you rode me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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