Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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