3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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