C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize