She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
BRING THE BAGELS
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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