i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
