honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
