There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize