i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize