I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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