Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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