i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
