I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
