Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
