the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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