Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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