Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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