Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
