Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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