Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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