chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
