she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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