The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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