oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize