Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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