He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
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