Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
