Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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