so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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