69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
