Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You were trust falling into bushes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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