I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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