I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
